Frequently Asked Questions
WHAT IS OPEN ADOPTION?
- Birth parents select the adoptive family
- Together, birth parents and adoptive parents develop and plan their relationship with each other and with the child
- Every open adoption relationship is specific to the families involved. With love, compassion, and an eye towards what is "best" for the child, families can share a lifetime of communication and information
- Respect, honesty, and commitment to the plan and all parties involved
WHAT ABOUT THE BABY’S FATHER?
In Colorado, birthfathers do have some legal rights. At LFS
they have the opportunity to participate in counseling to understand
their options as well as your intentions. If birthfathers choose not
to take an active role, you can still make your own decisions about
your pregnancy.
HOW WILL MY
CHILD FEEL ABOUT ME – WILL HE HATE ME? WILL HE FEEL ABANDONED
OR REJECTED?
With an open adoption, your child will know
his story. He will hear his story from you as well as from his adoptive
parents. He will come to understand what a difficult but loving decision
you have made. He can grow up knowing that he is loved not only by
his adoptive family, but also by his birth family. Children of open
adoption have more grown ups in their life to love and to love them
back.
HOW ARE FAMILIES SCREENED?
All families in Colorado go through an
extensive home study process with an adoption agency. This includes
criminal and child abuse background checks. The couples are
interviewed many times, separately and together. Through Lutheran
Family Services, they attend a 20-hour training program to prepare
them for parenting and for embracing the openness in their relationships
with birth families.
WILL THE ADOPTIVE FAMILY KEEP THEIR COMMITMENT/MORAL
AGREEMENT WITH ME OR SHUT ME OUT AFTER THEY HAVE MY BABY?
The
families are with Lutheran Family Services because they believe in
and want open adoption. Much of the training they receive is about
the commitment and relationship between adoptive families and
birth families. Our families are looking forward to knowing you and
your family. Many times the two families become like extended family
toward each other.
WHAT WILL AN ADOPTIVE FAMILY THINK OF ME?
Just as you are wondering
what the potential adoptive family will think of you, the adoptive
family is concerned about the same thing. The first time you
meet each other, these fears tend to disappear, and a healthy relationship
can be built. Adoptive parents have a great appreciation and
respect for the difficulty of your decision, and for your willingness
to meet them as part of the selection process.
WILL I FEEL SAD ABOUT THIS
FOREVER? WILL I EVER GET OVER THE LOSS?
Easy to say, but
time is truly a healer. You will be able to grieve the losses
that are a part of being a birth parent, and find peace with your
decision. With open adoption, the loss is helped by your knowing
how your child is doing, that she is loved and thriving, and that
your adoption plan is working out.
For additional information
about our services, please call or e-mail us at
Denver: Kim at 303-217-5840
Southern Colorado: Kim at 719-314-0222
Northern Colorado: Ashley at 970-232-1159
pregnancy@lfsco.org
